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“I would also like to point out that Bendon and Berlei Bra companies would have an easy time here as all these women have exactly the same sizes breasts, actually it’s only their hair colour that changes – maybe it’s some Conan groupie with a great selection of wigs?”

'Conan' Review
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feature :: nintendo wii first impressions

Nintendo Wii First Impressions

T'was the night before launch, oh how I've been looking forward to this night, its Nintendo's time to shine, and shine they did alright.

PAGE 1 (Midnight Launch) : PAGE 2 (The Hardware) : PAGE 3 (The Software) : PAGE 4 (Final Thoughts)  
T’was the night before launch, oh how I’ve been looking forward to this night, its Nintendo’s time to shine, and shine they did alright. As you can tell I’m terrible poet so let’s get down to business. Tonight is going to be a rough night; I had a feeling there was going to be a tough crowd so I recorded times and the activities on what I did that night, enjoy!

8:36PM – I grabbed my tickle me Mario backpack and I threw in some V cans, my camera and my ‘no body likes a fanboi’ flag with Joaby’s face on the front. I jump in the car and I take off to Westfield Miranda.

I originally had my Wii preordered at Toys R Us but after they screwed me over with their ‘You don’t get to choose the free game after all so instead we’re going to give you Open Season offer’ I switched over to Games Wizards.





People have gotta be here.. Maybe I need to transform into wolf form to see them




Woo here they are! Yay Mario Kart


9:10PM – I walk into the shopping centre to notice Games Wizards was a ghost town. Nothing was open and nobody was there.. This where I being to freak out and begin thinking to myself ‘They did say they were having a midnight launch yeah? Nah, they did.. I’m pretty sure..’ After convincing myself they did I heard cheers and laughter coming from the other side of the shopping centre.

9:14PM - I walk up the giant hall to notice a party going down at EB Games. There were Fanboi’s, Emo’s, Kids with Grandmothers, Guys with no jobs.. you know, the usual. I went up to the Fanboi’s and joined their Mario Kart DS session and gave them all a go. Damn that games good, note to self: play more Mario Kart.

10:02PM – Ok switch games, Tetris DS!!

10:43PM – After hearing an hour straight of PS3 bashing and how to be a Wii Sport pro I adventured my way to the Emo’s to ask them a few questions. That didn’t go so well, they’re not a talkative bunch but you can’t blame them with all the lipstick they wear.





Where’s Wally?




Bowser selling the first few Wii’s to Customers


11:14PM – Ok with less than an hour to launch I decided to check out the Games Wizards store to see if there were any ghosts.

11:18PM – Holy Crap! There are people! Holy Crap! They’re playing Mario Strikers on the Gamecube! Woohoo, now for some fun.

11:25PM - After winning a match 9-0 against some Emo I managed to have a decent conversation with two of the employees there. They told me 28 Wii’s were preordered for tonight’s pickup. I wish I grabbed the figures from EB Games because the crowd there were at least 50+





I thought I might go outside for some fresh air




21! 20! 19! 18!..


11:55PM – Ok this is the moment I’ve been waiting for since the dawn of time! (Note: not possible)

12:03PM – Second to pick up the Wii and first to my car! Let’s get this sucker opened!


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