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“Again, if this kind of genre is your cup of tea, then you’ll find it to be some of the most delicious tea you’ve ever tasted, with scones on the side.”

'The Orange Box' Review
by Yug









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feature :: grand theft auto - a love story

Grand Theft Auto - A Love Story

Yug retells the story of his relationship with the grand theft auto series


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She was a stranger to me initially, I’d never seen her around or even expected her arrival, but as soon as we met I fell madly in love right away. Sure, she was a bit rough around the edges, and came across as a little bit shallow, and we would go out every night partying - doing all sorts of illegal things (we did get busted by the cops a few times). On the whole though, it was good. We started to settle into a more comfortable relationship, and by the 2nd year I was starting to get over the initial thrills and realised that she lacked the substance I was craving. We still had fun, but my attention started to wander elsewhere. A brief trip to London didn’t do much for our relationship, and by that stage we both knew that if something didn’t change soon, it would be time to move on.

The 3rd year we were together, everything changed. I knew she had been planning something for awhile now, and every time I asked her about it she would simply say ‘it’s a surprise’. I was extremely curious, wondered what she had in store, and for the first time in years started to feel excited. It was late one evening when I came home that I found all the lights off, total darkness. "Hello, anyone home?" I queried. "Are you ready?" came a sultry voice that sounded familiar, yet I hadn’t heard that tone in years.

As I turned the lights on and raised the brightness - there she was, absolutely stunning. No longer rough around the edges, she had gone and gotten a whole new look, an extreme makeover, and it was amazing. This was new; this was something I’d never seen before. "You can do whatever you want with me" she cooed. I called in to work sick and spent the next week alone with her, making it my mission to explore every nuance and new feature of her.

What surprised me most was that in the time I’d known her, I hadn’t even realised how much she had changed on the inside too. She was more mature, offering clever, witty and engaging conversations, which I fell for immediately. This was it; this was the girl for me.

But good things never last, and all thrills fade with time. So it was that half way through the year there was a huge 80’s resurgence, a trend that she picked up and ran with. I’ll admit I got into it as well, and we both had heaps of fun listening to music from our childhood, dressing like bad pop stars, and acting out scenes from Miami Vice. I was having fun, but couldn’t shake the feeling that we’d already done this all before.

By the end of the year, she had done a complete turnaround - it must have been the friends she was hanging out with at the time - and was dressing up (or should I say down) in baggy jeans and skimpy t-shirts, wearing enough gold jewellery to sink a small ship. Her attitude changed too, she started talking about ‘the hood’ and how I should respect her more. This was one trend I just couldn’t bring myself to follow her down. She became more erratic, sometimes eating all day and noticeably putting on weight - other times not eating for weeks and almost falling over from exhaustion.

She kept talking about how much she had changed, about how much more there was to her now than ever before, but I had already started to lose interest in her, and to be honest, she in me.

It happened on a day like any other, and compared to the fanfare of the start, our relationship ended with a whimper. I broke up with her a few months before our 4 year anniversary. She said she understood, but that she felt I was making a mistake. I moved out that weekend.

In the time since we’ve been apart, I haven’t seen her much. There were a few months where she was involved in some internet sex scandal, and I didn't even hear from her for months. Often at a mutual friends place I see other people talking to her, enjoying her company - some have known her for years, but it’s always the new people that are drawn to her so compellingly. All types too, old and young, nerds and jocks, she engages them all and they inevitably fall for her.

Recently I heard she had dropped away from her gangsta persona and started hanging out with her 80’s obsessed friends of hers again. I got a call from her a few weeks ago too, although I let it go to messagebank. She just wanted to say hi, see how I was doing, and tell me about how she’s re-evaluating things. How she feels her life is closer to what it was at the beginning of our 3rd year together, how she’s dropped the crazy themes and is starting making new plans.

Eventually I called her back, and as they say - absence makes the heart grow fonder - I found myself nervous and strangely a little excited to be talking to her again. We spoke on the phone a few times, she told me of a few new things coming up in her life, and eventually we agreed to meet up for a bite to eat.

I realised the significance of the date we had set as well. It would have been our 4 year anniversary.

Makes me wonder what the 4th year has in store ...


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