[White_Pointer]

HOW TO SPEAK NEW ZEALANDER, FOR BIST EFICT, RID THESE OUT ALOUD!

Milburn - capital of Victoria
Peck - to fill a suitcase
Pissed aside - chemical which kills insects
Pigs - for hanging out washing with
Pump - to act as agent for prostitute
Pug - large animal with a curly tail
Nin tin dough - computer game
Munner stroney - soup
Min - male of the species
Mess Kara - eye makeup
McKennock - person who fixes cars
Mere - Mayor
Leather - foam produced from soap
Lift - departed
Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman
Little crusps - potato chips
Ken's - Cairns
Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim
Jungle Bills - Christmas carol
Inner me - enemy
Guess - vapour
Fush - marine creatures
Fitter cheney - type of pasta
Ever cardeau - avocado
Fear hear - blonde
Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen
Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym
Duffy cult - not easy
Amejen - visualise
Day old chuck - very young poultry
Bug hut - popular recording
Bun button - been bitten by insect
Beard - a place to sleep
Chully Bun - Esky
Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers
Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline
Beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests
Veerjun - mythical New Zealand maiden
One Doze - well known computer program
Brudge - structure spanning a stream
Sex - one less than sivven
Tin - one more than nine
Iggs Ecktly - Precisely
Earplane - large flying machine
Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport
Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft
Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft
Cuds - children
Pits - domestic animals
Cuttin - baby cat

White_Pointer

[InbredScorpion]

I dare someone to go to New Zealand and try to find somethings affiliated with that list.

[Lord OverKill]

I feel like I've been living in South Africa more than New Zealand now.

[Coz]

Absolute genius. Spot on 100%.

EXCEPT, this one.

Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline

Air NZ isn't extinct? I think the author was thinking of Ansett.

[DonnyJay-GltSprk]

Ma frund Junty hos a stup-bruthur called Nuck who plays wuter polo fur hus age duvusion for Nu Zulund.

[MoonUnit]

My friend is dating a New Zealander, who lives with another one. He's surrounded by their weird use of vowels, I think they're going to convert him soon or something. I see them every once in a while, they think my name is Bin.

[Boomstick]

BRIT? BAND MEETING!

[Coz]

"He may be dead"
"Maybe he did and maybe he didn't"
"No, he may be dead"
"Are you guys fucking with me?"

[DonnyJay-GltSprk]

"He may be dead"
"Maybe he did and maybe he didn't"
"No, he may be dead"
"Are you guys fucking with me?"

"I'm so angry, I... I culd sweahr."
"No Murri, you wouldn't sweahr."
"Go... go fuick yourself Brit."

[Boomstick]

"We wanted the ones from Dift Punk"

[Coz]

"We wanted the ones from Dift Punk"

Kiwis say Daft Punk the same as we say Daft Punk, n00b.

"Australian's and New Zealander's sound completely different. They're all "Where's the car" and we're all "Where's the car...."

[Boomstick]

I come in wanting to make a contribution and you have to go getting all factual on me! Hehe.

[Coz]

Hey, I'm not one to let a little thing like facts get in the way. PROCEED GOOD SIR.

[Gaute]

"Oh, cursed be the gods. Cursed be fate! Oh, my brother! Woe is me! I have become stranded upon a beach! I have VERILY become stranded upon a beach."
"My brother, I inquire of you: What is occupying your thoughts?"
"My dearest and most trusted friend - I have become stranded upon a beach!"
"The sun does not shine kindly on you. You have become stranded upon a beach."
"I am not ignorant of this fact."
"Brother, you have become more stranded upon a beach than any stranding I have previously witnessed!"
"I am truly stranded upon a beach."

What? Am I doing it wrong?

[Heinlager]

At least we don't get footwear and underwear confused.

[Sal]

"Oh, cursed be the gods. Cursed be fate! Oh, my brother! Woe is me! I have become stranded upon a beach! I have VERILY become stranded upon a beach."
"My brother, I inquire of you: What is occupying your thoughts?"
"My dearest and most trusted friend - I have become stranded upon a beach!"
"The sun does not shine kindly on you. You have become stranded upon a beach."
"I am not ignorant of this fact."
"Brother, you have become more stranded upon a beach than any stranding I have previously witnessed!"
"I am truly stranded upon a beach."

What? Am I doing it wrong?

Nah. I'm pretty sure that's what the script said... What was read out... Completely different.

[Lee]

Shall I post my collection of horrible phrases where I'm from?

Fuck it,

Tyrone Dictionary

Cyat/Cyar etc - cat/car: 'feed that cyat wud ye!'
Paturl - 'put some paturl in that cyar'
Aeeigh (said while breathing in) - Usually said to affirm a statement or simply to break an awkward silence
Next nor near it - close to something: 'I cudn't get parked next nor near it'
Red up - Tidy up
Kyip - A messy place: 'Red up that kyip!'
Stall the bailer - stop
Bail on - keep going (both these phrases are used most frequently when teaching someone to drive in Tyrone)
Through other - Disorganised
Tara - Terribly: 'Those boys are tara through other'. It can also strangely be used to describe dislike for something: 'That bacon's not tara '
Curtin' - going out/dating
Stepping out together - see curtin'
Graze a stipe - Type of bird used to describe marshy or bad farmland: Sure ye cudn't graze a stipe there!'
Docket - Any type of paperwork whether it be a receipt for a cow or a cinema ticket
Han - Hand
Fut - Foot
Me - My: 'A hurt me fut takin that cyat to the island'
Santee - Santa Clause
Put her broadside - making a car skid sideways
That be's good - Gibberish grammar used to describe an enjoyable event in the past tense
The mara - Tomorrow
Soople - Flexible/Fit
Not a hate - nothing, usually used in response to the question 'any money on ye?'
Bate that inta ye - Eat up
Lep - jump
Lept - jumped: 'I lept into that shuck'
State a ye/ Some state - Messy or emaciated appearance: 'you're in some state now'
Ice crame - Ice cream
Mineral - any fizzy drink
Howl that - Hold that
Uvan - Oven
Mur - Mirror
Luk - Look: 'Luk in the mur to see the state a ye'
Cubs/Cutties - boys/girls
Hows she cuttin? - How's it goin?
Full a the blade! - the inevitable answer
Quern - Very: 'its quern hot boy'
Wile hanlin - A difficult situation
Snat azy - its not easy (usually when complaining about work)
Yonder - over there
Fierce - good in the extreme
Hardy weather - freezing outside
Hoke - look for something
Mighty - see fierce
Not a pile - not doing anything: 'up to much the night?''ah, not a pile'
Well - simultaneously says hello and how are you
Parful - see fierce
Quare - very
Quit - stop
Rare bein - a strange individual
Rightly - see well
Skitter - annoying child
Deadly feed - a large meal
Brutal - harsh
Butther - butter
Cawdin - messing about
Childer - offspring
Mere - come here I would like to tell you something
Filum - film
Foundered - very cold
Good man yerself - thank you very much
Hallion - a disruptive teenager

Funnily enough these were sent to me by an Australian auntie

[Comrade Questions]

Shall I post my collection of horrible phrases where I'm from?

Fuck it,


Funnily enough these were sent to me by an Australian auntie

OI FOCKIN HAYTE POIKEYS.