“Its shameless advertising for when I become an internet celebrity and can leave all this AustralianGamer rubbish behind.”

At this point, you may be asking yourself, "Why is Brett wearing a waste paper bin on his head?"




You may also ask yourself, "Why do I keep reading his pointless updates that have basically nothing to do with gaming, and only reference Australia through the belittling of minority countries?", you may also ask "Why does this cinder block have a long piece of string attached to it, and why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?".

I'm wearing the bin, because I'd like to talk about the Haze Demo on PS3. Partly because the hero looks like he is wearing a bin on his head, and partly because the game is trash. In my world of yin,yang and the other thing, Haze creates a conundrum, I should make fun of it because it's published by Ubisoft but by doing so, I inadvertently bolster Microsoft, as Haze is another PS3 exclusive that has turned out to be pants. I'm not sure if the enemy of my enemy is my friend, or just Bennett Ring.

To place this in perspective will obviously require a graph, and while I created it using Excel, I can assure you that I pirated the software, along with the rest of the Microsoft Office Suite, every version of Windows ever created and a Microsoft Optical Mouse.





We see here, due to succession of exploding Xbox's owned by yours truly, our Microsoft Console Appreciation rating was actually quite low earlier this year. Sony's console had the considerable advantage of actually working when I pressed the 'on' button and thus an early lead. Lately however, as the succession of dire PS3 exclusives roll out of the poop factory, Microsoft's console, by default, has become the more appreciated unit. It surprises me that watching the red lights flash on my Xbox 360 is actually more interesting than playing Haze.

SEGA's rating Pre Dreamcast rating stays understandably high, whilst it's post Dreamcast performance is in danger of slipping into minus territory and destroying the graph, especially if they keep making Sonic games.

I'd appreciate it if everyone could start a flamewar in response to this update, driving up our site hits and thus improving our Google Page Rank to the point where we might be able to attract some advertisers. It's been a long time since I've eaten anything except raw cabbage from the bin at the back of my local Chinese Restaurant, and I'm not sure I have the strength to go on much longer if I don't get get paid soon.