How I actually mentally solved a problem yesterday using a dungeon map

News from George - Sunday, 14 June 2009 @ 10:49am

( Before anyone asks Yes I actually visualized the the pictures in this story.)

I'm sure the hours I spent gaming as a child is comparative to the amount I should have been learning important life skills and furthering my education, but there always seemed little use bringing it up. Especially as those were old, retro games. Collecting white balls, audibly shouting Wacka Wacka and eating cherries while being chased by ghosts isn't really something I can use in real life. Unlike the important, useful tips such as how to make grenades from broken bottles, and how to survive in an underwater utopia overrun by little girls with needles that modern scholastic games teach us, old games just don't hit that important education mark.

Until yesterday.

Now if you will, this has little to nothing to do with news, but nevertheless I have swine flu, and are sick so I can do what I want.

Level 20 of my life, chapter 6 checkpoint 13. Not a particularly hard level thus far, considering a recent bait of low health, the outlook was of an easy difficulty. Unfortunately for myself, another player who will be referred to as Mum noticed I was still alive, and invited me on a mission, with the options 'decline' or 'Ignore' somehow rendered useless. As per my usual self, I didn't listen to the cut scenes containing the outlined details of the mission. Unfortunately despite many attempts, I could not mute, or skip the dialogue played while in transit to our destination.

And I had been there before. But serious renovations had dramatically changed this once quiet, small shopping center. This almost Castle-like building was now only distinguishable by the large back text sprawled across it's parking bay, "Welcome to Chadstone"

And for anyone familiar with the maze that it Chadstone, this is just what one level of it looks like.

An hour had almost past. And if you have a mother who was so inclined to take you shopping as child you will understand being dragged from store to store with nothing bit a glimpse of hope you get to do what you want. We were there for a reason, yes, to buy sheets. Or as it turned out, to buy sheets, towels, shoes, a headband, a new teacup, pillowcases and various other side quests that were nothing short of staring at things I cannot afford. Needless to say, the day was coming to a close end. We had what we wanted, and I only had to wait for Mum to buy the sheets she had in her hand.

Paying for the goods was simple, and fast. The two store keeps, who seemed more preoccupied in looking busy rather than actually being busy groaned and stumbled their way through the whole transaction, stopping only to tap their long fingernails to an unheard song, probably too popular for me to of heard of.

My day was perfect at this point. The mission was completed, several collectables found along the way, my health bar seemed to be improving and all we needed to do was backtrack to the start of the level. Now Lets stop and savour this moment for a little bit. Someone near me was wall running into a display, I was laughing, and wait... What's that? Yes that's when my afternoon becomes more complicated than it should of. The second character, Mum, is furiously looking through her bag asking me if I knew where something was. Unsure, I drag my concentrated stare from the floor to her, forgetting what she'd asked, and instead of asking her to repeat it, I instead stare at her with a look that I hope says "Lets get the 5 for $3.65 cookie bites we saw earlier at Mrs. Fields." My powers of telekinesis apparently not strong enough, Mum turns to the store keeps. Storekeep 1 lifts up a bottle, looks under it and puts it back, shrugging. Although I am unsure of the size and shape of what Mum is looking for, I am sure it wouldn't be there. Also dissatisfied, Mum turns back to me and proclaims " I've lost the keys."

I check my inventory several times but to no avail. Damn. Now we're going to have to look for them. I sigh almost too audibly, and turn to trace back my steps. But then I stop. It hits me.

She had not dropped the keys, no. She had dropped the Dungeon Key, the one thing we need to get out of here. She must've dropped it when she put something else into her items.

And this is when my mind flashed like this;

My mother and I lovingly discussed the places we had been, and where we the key might be. Lovingly= the annoyed, argumentative tone in which families discuss topics. While discussing I drew an imaginative red line to all the rooms we'd been to- all the chests we'd open (bought shit). Deciding on where to look first was easy. This is because my mother decided for us. And so we went on our small, but seemingly endless journey for the damn key. I will quickly mention I chucked my iPod speakers in one ear, with the Spirit temple music from Ocarina of Time playing to er...Well it seemed suitable.

Being David Jones there are of course escalators. That isn't the problem though. The problem is walking 16K's out of my way around the store to find the DOWN escalator, but finding out it's been relocated on the other side of the store. This is troublesome as also in David Jones, enemies, or employs frequently approach you. But being the quick thinker I am, and also quite sick, I decided to cough uncontrollably while walking. This not only completely clears the once cluttered path you were walking, but also repels the enemies employees.

With a increasingly fast depleting health bar, I was almost going to resort to leaving the game and letting player 1 fix the problem (RACV). However, while looking for what seemed to be an invisible elevator that I might have to light four hidden torches in order to make it appear, I remembered I had graced the women’s clothing department with my presence.

Marching straight to where I had been, I looked. No key. Damn. That's when I decided to get on my hands and knees in a last attempt to see if the key was anywhere on the floor. That's also when James, the friendly employee, approached me, looked at me and said,

"Was it a yellow key Holden?"

And we got our keys back. And we did it through the magic of dungeon maps.

We then got ice cream, the end.