Grand Theft Auto: Episodes From Liberty City

Review from Yug - Thursday, 12 November 2009 @ 5:48pm

We're gettin A-Rab Money

As well as the Ballad of Gay Tony downloadable episode, Rockstar Games released a standalone disc that contains both episodes of Lost and Damned and the Ballad of Gay Tony. Impressively, you don't need the original GTA IV in order to play these, although why you would be in that situation is anyones guess.

I've already told you my thoughts of Lost and Damned ... it's the exact same game as it was back then, and you can read my preview of the Ballad of Gay Tony here.

For this part of the review for the Ballad of Gay Tony however, I thought I'd get in my favourite character in the new episode, the billionaire Arabic property developer and batshit crazy motherfucker, Yusuf Amir.

Wassup my Niggas!

See this city ... I own it ... everything. This city is our playground homie, more than any of those other episodes. Seriously.

Gay Tony? Sheeeeeet, I know Tony, he’s my homie, but why everyone only care about Tony? This isn’t even about him hardly, and all he does is complain all the fucking time. For real, this ain’t no gay shit. It’s about sexy cars, fucking bitches, and a mother fucking NOOSE tank! For real, we can roll in that tank like FUCKING DESERT STORM NIGGAS!

For real daddy O, it’s all about me and my friend Luis, he’s Tony’s business partner and security main man, but he’s a crazy mother fucker too. This one time, he jumped onto a motherfucking subway train, the assfucking flagship of the LTA, and I flew in, bolted it to my helicopter, and we TOOK IT! I’m an Arabic bad boy, for real.

Though, I do not understand why Luis still hangs about with his mama and loser friends, running petty little drug deals that are dull and boring. Why would he hang with them when he could be hanging with ME, the biggest pimp in the city! For real, I have two women upstairs right now, no shit, it’s not a porno, it’s the real deal. I’m living the life baby, sheeeeet I got exhausted driving sexy cars I had to fly two hours to Vice City to bang some bitches just to recover.

I bet Luis wishes he was just like me, rich and SEXY, but not yet ... maybe next game he can enjoy benefits of being a fucking PIMP like me, instead of working for one. Fuckin A.

We have some crazy times though, basejumping off buildings, stealing military grade helicopters and BLOWING SHIT UP ... things get so crazy sometimes I even lose my pants.

For real.

Seriously, you know this is the real deal, I see all these references to my old niggas, from the hood, for real. The Russians, the Eastern Europeans, The Bikers, they’re all here baby! In the end, the real story is about the diamonds. SERIOUSLY! That’s some CRAZY SHIT right there homie.

Fuckin a, I love this song! ... we’re getting A-RAB MONEY! WE’RE GETTIN A-RAB MONEY! I have to attend to the ladies upstairs. They’re not prostitutes though, they’re just loose women, Yusuf doesn’t pay for mother fucking bitches! So, anyway, my homie, it’s time to bounce baby ... as in ... bounce ... you know, it’s a term from the street, for real ... meaning to walk ...

LADIES!! PREPARE TO SUFFER!!

Pros

Memorable characters, additional over the top extras, crazy missions, funny dialogue with some of the best voice acting you'll hear in a game. Crossover character and mission moments keep all the games narrative together in very clever ways.

Cons

Some missions are 'more of the same' - go here, drug deal goes bad, kill everyone. Liberty City is getting a bit TOO familiar now ... time for a new city / location. Textures and characters are starting to look just a 'little bit' dated.