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review :: medal of honor: airborne
Medal of Honor: Airborne
Reviewed on: PCAvailable on: PC, Playstation 3, Xbox 360
It has come to pass that EA has produced Medal Of Honor Airborne and like any game suggested by closet homosexuals and approved by a chamber of monkeys, the game has turned out to somewhat disappointing.
Players: 1-12 Players
Genre:
Release: 2007-08-12
Genre:
Release: 2007-08-12
Developer: EA
Distributor: EA
Distributor: EA
Somewhere, deep underground, deep deep deep underground, underneath EA Head Quarters deep in where-everville is a room filled with 43 monkeys. 42 of these monkeys are brown, in descript and unremarkable, but one is a brilliant shade of white. He is the head monkey.
Some time ago, Two EA Production Managers went to the Monkey Room. They had a question to ask, an operation to green light. As they descended the stairs to the Monkey Room they could hear the Monkeys eating bananas and singing Monkey Songs. The sound of the slippery banana skins slapping onto the floor made the younger Manager, Dirk, feel uneasy. The older EA Manager gently reassured the younger EA Manager that what they were doing was right, the way things had always been done, after all the Monkeys were the ones really in charge at Electronic Arts.
As the humans entered “The Monkey Room” the ruckus of monkey screams died down. Randy, the older of the two Managers approached the White Monkey.
“Oh great Old White Monkey, We wish to make another Medal Of Honor war game” said Randy.
The room erupted in noise, The White Monkey extended his middle monkey finger and placed it to his lips to hush the rowdy crowd. The noise stopped. The monkeys would vote.
One by one the Brown Monkeys turned their thumbs up or down to show their approval or disapproval of the new Medal Of Honor project. The voting gaily swang both ways, like Tom Cruise, before being deadlocked at 21 for and 21 against. The White Monkey would have the final and deciding vote.
The alpha monkey took a bite from his banana and to the amazement of Randy and his younger colleague Dirk, began to speak
“Make another Medal Of Honor Game. Make it for PC, Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. Make it a first person shooter and use the Unreal 3 Engine to build it.”
Randy and Rory thanked the monkeys for their time and began their long climb back up the stairs. They would tell their programmers to make another Medal Of Honor game and they would tell the shareholders that first person shooters based on existing franchises can offer a solid return on investment. They would never speak of their visit to the monkey room again although Randy would experiment with his sexuality some years later after watching War of The Worlds.
And so six months later it has come to pass that EA has produced Medal Of Honor Airborne and like any game suggested by closet homosexuals and approved by a chamber of monkeys, the game has turned out to somewhat disappointing. You may ask yourself how I know all this detail and the answer is my dear reader, I was one of those monkeys. Actually, no, that’s a lie, I wasn’t a monkey, but I do have a review copy of Medal Of Honor Airborne and I’ll take the time now to let you know how I reached my conclusions.
The monkey hath spoken.
MOHA is a first person shooter based on battles from World War 2, a topic now covered about 4014 times over the last five years. The very first MOH was a highlight game back in 2002 and featured an Omaha Beach Sequence that made me stand to attention. Over the past five years however, EA have managed to cram a version of MOH onto everything from consoles to mobile phones and toasters and the once AAA quality of the franchise has suffered. Airborne is a step back towards the light, but in many ways it’s also a frustrating example that sometimes it’s best to let a franchise die in peace.
Airborne’s big original premise is the launching into the level by parachute. Supposedly this creates an on the fly unique experience. In reality, it just doesn’t work. The jump itself doesn’t work, There is no sensation of falling and graphics detail pops in so late that guiding your landing is almost impossible. Movement in the air is painfully slow and landing is reduced to pressing the space bar at the correct time. You don’t take damage in the air or whilst landing so “botching” the landing and falling down makes no difference to landing running and shooting. As soon as you land, the script kicks in and tells you to run somewhere else anyway so it makes no difference where you land, other than you can kill some respawning enemies and score a pixilated bonus medal.
Once you are on the ground game play is arcade based with a shield and health system not unlike Gears or Halo. The AI borders on MonsterTard Stupid with enemy soldiers happy to get shot in the back about five times before turning around. Getting shot with a sniper rifle takes off less health than getting punched and circle strafing Quake 2 style is back as a combat tactic. Some enemy deaths have rag doll physics and some have animations that clip through walls or float in the air not unlike on Criss Angel Mindfreak.
The most frustrating part of the AI as always is your team mates. When assigned a new objective everyone runs off to the new muster point, although that’s what you would assume would happen. In reality everyone runs out the room and then stops and hides from enemies that you killed ten minutes ago and you’re left to find the new waypoint yourself, where all you friends suddenly appear. Maybe they found a shortcut, maybe they caught a bus there, I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but I’m sick of being rejected by my virtual buddies.
Fingers crossed the parachute is open
Airborne is still enjoyable enough despite these small problems. The unrealistic shooting action is engaging enough and the graphics are nice. Anyone buying Airborne would know full well what they are getting and should be happy enough, except the game is five hours long.
Five hours.
That’s not enough game for $100.
I’m not getting into a debate on how long games should be, but five hours for a game that has limited replay ability is a problem. Multiplayer servers are deserted as I write this review and I can’t help but think of the “what ifs” of Airborne.
What if your parachute didn’t deploy so quickly and you could glide through the air to your objective at the start of the missions?
What if EA embraced the arcade game play style that already exists in the game and you could fire a bazooka at tanks during the parachute drop?
What if EA doubled the mission count and polished the AI a little before release?
I’m thinking then Medal Of Honor Airborne would have been a return to form for the franchise and a title I could recommend at it’s current price. As is Airborne is one to look out for in the half price bargain bins, because there is a half a game there waiting to be played.
Some time ago, Two EA Production Managers went to the Monkey Room. They had a question to ask, an operation to green light. As they descended the stairs to the Monkey Room they could hear the Monkeys eating bananas and singing Monkey Songs. The sound of the slippery banana skins slapping onto the floor made the younger Manager, Dirk, feel uneasy. The older EA Manager gently reassured the younger EA Manager that what they were doing was right, the way things had always been done, after all the Monkeys were the ones really in charge at Electronic Arts.
As the humans entered “The Monkey Room” the ruckus of monkey screams died down. Randy, the older of the two Managers approached the White Monkey.
“Oh great Old White Monkey, We wish to make another Medal Of Honor war game” said Randy.
The room erupted in noise, The White Monkey extended his middle monkey finger and placed it to his lips to hush the rowdy crowd. The noise stopped. The monkeys would vote.
One by one the Brown Monkeys turned their thumbs up or down to show their approval or disapproval of the new Medal Of Honor project. The voting gaily swang both ways, like Tom Cruise, before being deadlocked at 21 for and 21 against. The White Monkey would have the final and deciding vote.
The alpha monkey took a bite from his banana and to the amazement of Randy and his younger colleague Dirk, began to speak
“Make another Medal Of Honor Game. Make it for PC, Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. Make it a first person shooter and use the Unreal 3 Engine to build it.”
Randy and Rory thanked the monkeys for their time and began their long climb back up the stairs. They would tell their programmers to make another Medal Of Honor game and they would tell the shareholders that first person shooters based on existing franchises can offer a solid return on investment. They would never speak of their visit to the monkey room again although Randy would experiment with his sexuality some years later after watching War of The Worlds.
And so six months later it has come to pass that EA has produced Medal Of Honor Airborne and like any game suggested by closet homosexuals and approved by a chamber of monkeys, the game has turned out to somewhat disappointing. You may ask yourself how I know all this detail and the answer is my dear reader, I was one of those monkeys. Actually, no, that’s a lie, I wasn’t a monkey, but I do have a review copy of Medal Of Honor Airborne and I’ll take the time now to let you know how I reached my conclusions.
The monkey hath spoken.
MOHA is a first person shooter based on battles from World War 2, a topic now covered about 4014 times over the last five years. The very first MOH was a highlight game back in 2002 and featured an Omaha Beach Sequence that made me stand to attention. Over the past five years however, EA have managed to cram a version of MOH onto everything from consoles to mobile phones and toasters and the once AAA quality of the franchise has suffered. Airborne is a step back towards the light, but in many ways it’s also a frustrating example that sometimes it’s best to let a franchise die in peace.
Airborne’s big original premise is the launching into the level by parachute. Supposedly this creates an on the fly unique experience. In reality, it just doesn’t work. The jump itself doesn’t work, There is no sensation of falling and graphics detail pops in so late that guiding your landing is almost impossible. Movement in the air is painfully slow and landing is reduced to pressing the space bar at the correct time. You don’t take damage in the air or whilst landing so “botching” the landing and falling down makes no difference to landing running and shooting. As soon as you land, the script kicks in and tells you to run somewhere else anyway so it makes no difference where you land, other than you can kill some respawning enemies and score a pixilated bonus medal.
Once you are on the ground game play is arcade based with a shield and health system not unlike Gears or Halo. The AI borders on MonsterTard Stupid with enemy soldiers happy to get shot in the back about five times before turning around. Getting shot with a sniper rifle takes off less health than getting punched and circle strafing Quake 2 style is back as a combat tactic. Some enemy deaths have rag doll physics and some have animations that clip through walls or float in the air not unlike on Criss Angel Mindfreak.
The most frustrating part of the AI as always is your team mates. When assigned a new objective everyone runs off to the new muster point, although that’s what you would assume would happen. In reality everyone runs out the room and then stops and hides from enemies that you killed ten minutes ago and you’re left to find the new waypoint yourself, where all you friends suddenly appear. Maybe they found a shortcut, maybe they caught a bus there, I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but I’m sick of being rejected by my virtual buddies.
Fingers crossed the parachute is open
Airborne is still enjoyable enough despite these small problems. The unrealistic shooting action is engaging enough and the graphics are nice. Anyone buying Airborne would know full well what they are getting and should be happy enough, except the game is five hours long.
Five hours.
That’s not enough game for $100.
I’m not getting into a debate on how long games should be, but five hours for a game that has limited replay ability is a problem. Multiplayer servers are deserted as I write this review and I can’t help but think of the “what ifs” of Airborne.
What if your parachute didn’t deploy so quickly and you could glide through the air to your objective at the start of the missions?
What if EA embraced the arcade game play style that already exists in the game and you could fire a bazooka at tanks during the parachute drop?
What if EA doubled the mission count and polished the AI a little before release?
I’m thinking then Medal Of Honor Airborne would have been a return to form for the franchise and a title I could recommend at it’s current price. As is Airborne is one to look out for in the half price bargain bins, because there is a half a game there waiting to be played.
Final Verdict
Text “Brett” to 19 69 69 to find out how disappointed I am with Medal Of Honor Airborne and receive your free ringtone titled “It’s too short and not very good”.Pros
Graphics are swell. It’s enjoyable short term fun.
Cons
Did someone steal five hours of the game? Is there a second disc that I’m missing?