Napoleon: Total War

Review from Starks - Saturday, 24 April 2010 @ 8:32am

A scary thought, indeed.

S - So I’m sitting here with Napoleon Brettaparte and discussing the new Total War game involving Brettaparte’s spiritual predecessor. Good evening Brettaparte.

B - Good evening Starks. A pleasure to be here with you.

S - So tell me about yourself, Brettaparte. Where do you hail from?

B - Well, good sir, I come from the Kingdom of Perth, in the Western province of Australia. As the great, great, great, great, great, great grand cousin of Napoleon Bonaparte, twice removed, I feel it is only fitting to take part in this review.

S - I had no idea you were French, Brett.

B - French? And it’s Brettaparte, to you young scaly wag.

S - Yes, Napoleon was French.

B - Oh, right. Yes... Are you sure?

S - Yes, I am.

*Brettaparte shifted uneasily in his seat.*

S - So tell me, what are your thoughts on this new and thrilling title from The Creative Assembly.

B - Wait, I thought it was by SEGA?

S - Well... the game is published by SEGA, but it’s designed by The Creative Assembly. I thought –

B - I WAS NOT MADE AWARE OF THIS!

S - Err, Brett –

B - You forget yourself, it's Brettaparte.

S - ... Right. The game, Brettaparte. What did you think of it?

B - Yes, impressive addition to the series. Needed more rally driving though.

S - I don’t think there were rally cars in your great, great, great, great, great, great grand cousin’s time.

B - Twice removed.

S - Hmm?

B - Great, great, great, great, great, great grand cousin twice removed.

S - Oh, right. Yes.

B - I will admit the game pleased me. The boom of the cannons and the way horses would flee with their riders legs caught in the saddle never ceased to amuse me.

S - So you enjoyed the game then. That’s great news. What were the major features you enjoyed?

B - Cannons and riders with their legs caught in the saddle.

S - No, I mean what else?

B - I was happy to note that the game was extremely realistic, and mimicked how the campaigns played out in history. Not just from a battle point of view, but also from a world point of view. The establishing of supply lines and the like allowed my incredible military mind the opportunity to cut armies off from food sources and starve them before charging into battle. Yes, my minions did what they were told, no matter how many times they screamed for mercy.

S - How honourable of you...

B - (Brettaparte smiled) I am, aren’t I. Someone on this team needs to be, especially now that Yug is running his gentleman’s establishment.

S - Brett, it’s a bar.

B - That’s what he says. And it’s Brettaparte, remember.

S - Right, got it. Any last thoughts?

B - I’m waiting to see if The Creative Assembly will incorporate my suggested music alternatives.

S - Oh? And what were they?

Pros

Extremely accurate in its representation of Napoleons campaign. Unbelievable visuals, especially in the battles. The improvements to multiplayer are fantastic, especially with the ability to have random people on Steam join your single player battles and oppose you.

Cons

The AI can be, at times, hopelessly inept. The changed, and narrower, scope of the game could put people off. I tend to find that by focussing it on specifically on Napoleon, it has limited the replayability slightly.