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review :: brunswick pro bowling
Brunswick Pro Bowling
Reviewed on: WiiAvailable on: Playstation 2, Wii
Since I don’t actually get paid per review, I decided to spend about a month with the game to see if it was actually any good.
Players: 1 - 4 Players
Genre:
Release: 2007-09-21
Genre:
Release: 2007-09-21
Developer: Point of View
Distributor: Red Ant
Distributor: Red Ant
Hey there, wanna be part of my bowling team? I’m psyched for bowling. Bowling is awesome. It would be the sport of kings if horse racing hadn’t already taken the title, but it’s a lot better than horse racing because you don’t see many four foot kings, except for the Gypsy Kings, and I don’t think they are even actual royalty.
Back to the subject of bowling. Until recently you had to get stoned and visit a bowling alley to enjoy the sport of ten pin bowling. Sure you could bowl at home, but rolling those heavy balls around normally broke stuff and who could ever find ten things to stand up at the other end of the hall to use as pins? Not that there is anything wrong with bowling at the alley, I caught some nice tinea there once, not to mention a mouth load of abuse from some bogan who took exception to me telling him his Kingswood was shit. I’ll remember in future not to yell TRD at passing Holden drivers, especially if they have no hair and are named Wayne.
I don't remember bowling being THIS complicated
Imagine if you could enjoy bowling at home. It’d be like two great things combined together to create a really great thing, kind of like if you actually watched Nigella In The Kitchen with the intention of learning to cook something. Well, amazingly now you can thanks to Brunswick Pro Bowling for Nintendo Wii. It’s like having you own bowling alley in your pocket, just like Tommy Lee.
On the subject of Motley Crue, Brunswick Pro Bowling has the best loading screen music of any game in the history of games. For years now the gaming public has cried out for porno music to be used as loading screen music and finally this outcry has been answered. Those of you hoping to spend some bumpy happy time with a member of the opposite sex would be well served to put some Brunswick Pro Bowl loading screen music on the MP3 player and to light some candles. Make sure you wear a raincoat though kids because it’s no fun getting bad tang on your wang, if you get what I’m saying. Also, say no to drugs, unless you’re going bowling, in which case, bong on.
Once the music is over, if you get my poorly worded double entendre, Brunswick loads up pretty quickly with some impressive 1990’s graphics. At this stage most other reviewers jumped off the bowling bus, slapped a 5 on the bottom of their review score and submitted their reviews to the editor. Since I don’t actually get paid per review, I decided to spend about a month with the game to see if it was actually any good.
The main game mode of Brunswick Bong and Bowl is Career mode where you take a character from lowly independent games reviewer to fully funded TV personality, or more specifically amateur leaguer to, umm , not quite amateur leaguer. You can select from a variety of characters who look virtually identical, change their shirts to resemble The Dude from The Big Lebowski and start your career by taking on a lady with a mans haircut in a “best of too many” game series.
Eventually the game forces you to bowl using a watermelon instead.
It’s here in the first game that Brunswick is going to throw most people for a gutter ball (that’s a TV quote there everyone, it’s an in-joke that’s an allusion to the previous paragraph, I’m not really using the old gutter ball analogy as a literal analogy, I’m using it as an ironic double meaning analogy, that’s great new age gaming journalism there kids, feel free to take notes and send them to IGN) as Brunswick Bowl doesn’t let you start wanging the ball down and cranking it around the lane from the onset. Attempting to use any sort of hooking early in the career mode results in scores around the 50 mark. Bowl straight however, using basic angling fundamentals and you can roll down 240’s pretty regularly. The set up of each shot is well handled with tilting of the controller being used in addition to the arrow buttons to line up your character but disturbingly the animation of your bowler is only played after you roll your shot down the lane with the remote. It can be quite confusing to bowl the ball and then 2 seconds later watch your on screen character perform the action.
Pin physics are reasonably well handled in the game with the exception of a tendency to split pins on the Brooklyn side of the lane. It’s annoying to see the mother in law standing after sweeping everything else across the lane or seemingly through it, especially when you’re quite sure the ball has also taken out the seven.
After about twenty games your character starts to gain stats and you can start the turn the ball. The Brunswick manual suggests that oil on the lanes can influence your spin but I couldn’t ever prove or disprove this statement. After spending the better part of a month with the game I can say that hooking the ball is about as successful as bowling straight with correct angles, and thus the gradual build of stats in career mode was somewhat of an anticlimax.
Brett and his Ball
There’s different lanes to unlock and you can buy generic clothes for you character but Brunswick Pro Bowl is almost a throwback to a time when the main game mode was the selling point of the game and the extras where meaningless bits of fluff. The game is relaxing and slow paced, imagination is required as you’ll find yourself competition against the same character model over and over again, but you may also find yourself enjoying the chance to bowl a few games without a licensed soundtrack, celebrity endorsement or downloadable extras to pay for.
For multiplayer mode some more advanced characters are unlocked for immediate play. My advice for anyone considering Brunswick for some casual gaming fun is not to bother and play Wii Sports instead. Single players not into bowling in a large way should also consider Wii Sports rather than Brunswick Pro Bowl. If you can stomach the ugly graphics and slow paced career mode however, and have the more than a basic understanding of bowling technique, you may just find that Brunswick Pro Bowling is a slow burner that you’ll learn to love over time and go back to long after you’ve bored of other more fancied titles. If this sounds like you, then I’m going to go ahead and say "Recommended".
Back to the subject of bowling. Until recently you had to get stoned and visit a bowling alley to enjoy the sport of ten pin bowling. Sure you could bowl at home, but rolling those heavy balls around normally broke stuff and who could ever find ten things to stand up at the other end of the hall to use as pins? Not that there is anything wrong with bowling at the alley, I caught some nice tinea there once, not to mention a mouth load of abuse from some bogan who took exception to me telling him his Kingswood was shit. I’ll remember in future not to yell TRD at passing Holden drivers, especially if they have no hair and are named Wayne.
I don't remember bowling being THIS complicated
Imagine if you could enjoy bowling at home. It’d be like two great things combined together to create a really great thing, kind of like if you actually watched Nigella In The Kitchen with the intention of learning to cook something. Well, amazingly now you can thanks to Brunswick Pro Bowling for Nintendo Wii. It’s like having you own bowling alley in your pocket, just like Tommy Lee.
On the subject of Motley Crue, Brunswick Pro Bowling has the best loading screen music of any game in the history of games. For years now the gaming public has cried out for porno music to be used as loading screen music and finally this outcry has been answered. Those of you hoping to spend some bumpy happy time with a member of the opposite sex would be well served to put some Brunswick Pro Bowl loading screen music on the MP3 player and to light some candles. Make sure you wear a raincoat though kids because it’s no fun getting bad tang on your wang, if you get what I’m saying. Also, say no to drugs, unless you’re going bowling, in which case, bong on.
Once the music is over, if you get my poorly worded double entendre, Brunswick loads up pretty quickly with some impressive 1990’s graphics. At this stage most other reviewers jumped off the bowling bus, slapped a 5 on the bottom of their review score and submitted their reviews to the editor. Since I don’t actually get paid per review, I decided to spend about a month with the game to see if it was actually any good.
The main game mode of Brunswick Bong and Bowl is Career mode where you take a character from lowly independent games reviewer to fully funded TV personality, or more specifically amateur leaguer to, umm , not quite amateur leaguer. You can select from a variety of characters who look virtually identical, change their shirts to resemble The Dude from The Big Lebowski and start your career by taking on a lady with a mans haircut in a “best of too many” game series.
Eventually the game forces you to bowl using a watermelon instead.
It’s here in the first game that Brunswick is going to throw most people for a gutter ball (that’s a TV quote there everyone, it’s an in-joke that’s an allusion to the previous paragraph, I’m not really using the old gutter ball analogy as a literal analogy, I’m using it as an ironic double meaning analogy, that’s great new age gaming journalism there kids, feel free to take notes and send them to IGN) as Brunswick Bowl doesn’t let you start wanging the ball down and cranking it around the lane from the onset. Attempting to use any sort of hooking early in the career mode results in scores around the 50 mark. Bowl straight however, using basic angling fundamentals and you can roll down 240’s pretty regularly. The set up of each shot is well handled with tilting of the controller being used in addition to the arrow buttons to line up your character but disturbingly the animation of your bowler is only played after you roll your shot down the lane with the remote. It can be quite confusing to bowl the ball and then 2 seconds later watch your on screen character perform the action.
Pin physics are reasonably well handled in the game with the exception of a tendency to split pins on the Brooklyn side of the lane. It’s annoying to see the mother in law standing after sweeping everything else across the lane or seemingly through it, especially when you’re quite sure the ball has also taken out the seven.
After about twenty games your character starts to gain stats and you can start the turn the ball. The Brunswick manual suggests that oil on the lanes can influence your spin but I couldn’t ever prove or disprove this statement. After spending the better part of a month with the game I can say that hooking the ball is about as successful as bowling straight with correct angles, and thus the gradual build of stats in career mode was somewhat of an anticlimax.
Brett and his Ball
There’s different lanes to unlock and you can buy generic clothes for you character but Brunswick Pro Bowl is almost a throwback to a time when the main game mode was the selling point of the game and the extras where meaningless bits of fluff. The game is relaxing and slow paced, imagination is required as you’ll find yourself competition against the same character model over and over again, but you may also find yourself enjoying the chance to bowl a few games without a licensed soundtrack, celebrity endorsement or downloadable extras to pay for.
For multiplayer mode some more advanced characters are unlocked for immediate play. My advice for anyone considering Brunswick for some casual gaming fun is not to bother and play Wii Sports instead. Single players not into bowling in a large way should also consider Wii Sports rather than Brunswick Pro Bowl. If you can stomach the ugly graphics and slow paced career mode however, and have the more than a basic understanding of bowling technique, you may just find that Brunswick Pro Bowling is a slow burner that you’ll learn to love over time and go back to long after you’ve bored of other more fancied titles. If this sounds like you, then I’m going to go ahead and say "Recommended".
Final Verdict
Brunswick Pro Bowl is a "Quite Enjoy" or "Hate" sort of game. If you’re happy with a quick occasional game of Wii Sports then this isn’t the title for you. If you’re a bowling tragic though, you should check it out.Pros
Every character looks like The Dude or Walter Sobchak, pin physics are pretty good, porno loading music is awesome
Cons
Graphically, this is one ugly bird, tough to learn to hook the ball, incredibly slow paced