Saints Row The Third

Review from Barry - Thursday, 12 January 2012 @ 12:40pm

Saints Row: The Third has to be the most bullshit insane game I have played since Just Cause 2 and while there is no grapple hook or bitchin’ 80s scorpion logo, it's just as much mental fun. There is a sense of fun and silliness that has been absent from its most compared ‘rival’ Grand Theft Auto for quite a few iterations now.

This is plain to see from the opening scene, which sees you are robbing a bank, dressed as bobble head versions of yourself - while some Hollywood method actor tags along to get a feel for what it is to be a ‘Saint’. Long story short, shit goes down and you are soon fighting the local swat team, as well as a seemingly never ending army of hot chicks in lingerie with SMG’s.

Talk about a back seat driver

I think we should probably just get this out of the way up front. This is a silly game that is HIGHLY sexualised and gives no apology for this. There are dudes getting blow jobs in street alleys, a set of twins that leaves not much to the imagination, Burt Reynolds and of course the infamous giant purple dildo bat. Getting offended by Saints Row: The Third is like jumping into a pool and complaining that you got wet.. if you know what I mean.

Unlike other games in the 3rd person crime sandbox genre - where you work your way up the food chain surviving mainly off dropped enemies ammo and money - SR3 knows you hate that shit, and within four missions in set you up with a bitching penthouse apartment and a few local businesses which offer discounts and provide you with a constant source of revenue.

Use the mini gun to make a shortcut to use later on!

Speaking of the missions, they, like the rest of the game are fairly over the top, balls to the wall non stop madness. For the seasoned player there is bugger all difficulty in them, but that doesn't make them less fun and when you think about it ‘fits’ with the rest of the game. You are treated like some sort of God-King, so why shouldn't you be able to shrug off a shotgun blast.

While doing missions and when you are just driving about, it's important to take note of your Saints respect and what things increase it (like power sliding around corners on the wrong side of the road). Think of respect like character levels in a traditional RPG. More respect gives you access to more abilities like increased number of followers or dual wielding pistols etc. It is a simple system to come to grips with and when you do level up its always a pain picking just one ability to unlock.

Like all awesome things in life they are best shared with friends and SR3 doesn't leave you hanging in that regard either because the entire game can be played co-op. Sadly, however, there are none of the co-op mini games that were in Saints Row 2 to keep you in Steelport. Thankfully there does not seem to be any way to drop into random people's games though, so there's no real worry about some knob griefing you while you try and bang that hooker.

Where SR3 has troubles is when it forgets itself. The early death of a long-time Saints gang member brings about a few awkward cut scenes where the surviving gang members try and evoke some sort of heart-felt emotion about what happened and what should be done - something just doesn't feel right about it. This could be because I am not intimate with the previous Saints Row games, but I just didn't care about the death and don't appreciate being forced to.

Apart from that, it's all gravy, the driving is responsive, the shooting system is solid and the menu system (where you access missions, character level ups etc) works fantastically. The city, like most sandbox games, is something you will soon learn like the back of your hand - which comes in handy when there are 10 syndicate cars trying to shoot you dead.

Yep, its a giant dildo..

Pros

• Fun Gameplay and storyline
• Solid shooting, driving & menu systems
• Entire campaign can be shared with a friend
• Super silly fun

Cons

• Missions are not very difficult
• There are a few scenes of forced emotion that dont 'fit' with the rest of the game vibe
• The story can feel cobbled together at points - it just kinda jumps from one thing to the next