Bully: Scholarship Edition

Review from Oracle - Monday, 30 June 2008 @ 9:47am

Definition: Port (noun) To create a new version of an application program to run on a different hardware platform.

When it comes down to video games I hate ports. They are my nemeses solely because they prevent me from enjoying what may have been a classic on the original console due to lack of effort in key areas from the developers. Areas such as frame rate, controls, loading screens and buggy textures are common major flaws within ports. When I find these faults I begin to lose interest in the game which makes it a hard job for me when I need to play the game and review it for readers. Bully: Scholarship Edition for the Xbox 360 is a port which happens to have a horrible frame rate, delayed controls, insanely annoying loading screens and shocking textures.



Two years ago Bully (Canis Canem Edit known in Pal territory) was released on the PlayStation 2 and most of you may remember the media attention it got overseas (look at the title – it screams out to angry parents). I never got the chance to play the game but I’ve been told by respectable gamers that it wasOK. It’s about a 15 year old boy named Jimmy Hopkins who is dropped off at one of the toughest schools in the States by his mother who is on her fifth honeymoon ... you get the idea. It is up to you to guide Jimmy through school to make sure he passes his subjects, protects the nerds, kisses the girls (and boys) and basically prove to everyone that the underdogs can eventually bite back and win. As you progress the story does get a little compelling but overall I still found it all to be a little hit and miss.

The game basically plays like GTA but simplified for the smaller environment of a school campus. However, with that said, your biggest concern is time. Your eyes will constantly be on the clock displayed in the corner of the screen which runs from 8:00am to 2:00am. Between 9:00am - 11:30am and 1:00pm to 3:30pm Jimmy must be in his selected class. Anything out of that and you’re free to wreak havoc on the school, the teachers and the peers. The subjects available vary from English to Chemistry, Photography to Art, Shop to Gym and so on. When you take a class you’re basically playing a mini game and the more subjects you pass the more Jimmy is rewarded with. For example if you keep passing English you’ll be able to taunt enemies more efficiently and Gym practice will help your accuracy with the slingshot… yep, you’ll be a real menace.



The hand to hand combat in Bully works by bringing down an enemy's health and then performing a humiliating move to drop them to the ground. No, they don’t die.. they stay on the ground and cry like little girls. The voice acting is the usual Rockstar style, quite good and sometimes even believable but I’m not saying the scripting is anything special. Cut scenes are a little annoying due to the loading screens and awkward game pauses during character dialogue but that’s typical for a port. Graphics are a little improved from the PS2 successor but textures are piss poor… and don’t get me started on the frame rate.

Most of the missions Jimmy is faced with are either to collect something, to kick someone’s ass, to protect someone’s ass or to sabotage something. Good ‘ol GTA fun. Some gamers who’ve happened to play the game 3 months ago back on release date will tell you how hilarious the game is and you feel like you’re watching Not Another Teen Movie rather than playing a video game. Don’t listen to these assholes, you won't find the game to be funny if you happen to have a sense of humour more advanced than a walnut (plus I rather like Not Another Teen Movie). But hey, if you find Superhero Movie, Meet the Spartans or Date Movie to be bloody hilarious you’ll find yourself setting a shrine up in your living room for Bully in no time.

Summary

If you have the patience to play this game and you enjoy watching Meet the Spartans you'll have a blast. If you have an IQ above 40 look else where.

Pros

Voice acting.. that's really it.

Cons

Shitty port, not funny, horrible frame rate, get used to seeing loading screens, delayed controls and kissing hot girls.