Samba De Amigo

Review from Brett - Friday, 26 December 2008 @ 4:10pm

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, Head Prosecutor for the State Of Western Australia Against Video Games, Mr Brett Bear, will now deliver his closing argument

Video games kill children. It's an obvious fact and I believe the evidence that the prosecution has exhibited over the last seven hundred and forty two days of this trial makes this fact well and truly windex clear. Some people say Australia needs an "R" rating for videogames, but I say, "Australia must ban all videogames, especially the filth that is parading gaily in the streets of our flimsy General rating.

For my closing argument and comments, I'll be focussing on a General rated game named Samba De Amigo, to show the Jury that evil exists everywhere, and content must be censored, as people cannot be expected to think for themselves.

This Samba De Amigo game pretends to be a dancing game for the Nintendo Wii, where gamers use the controllers as maracas, shaking them to popular music. Some would think that this is a fun party game. On first glance many would think that this is clean and enjoyable fun, but one only has to dig like a badger in a muddy lake to find the nasty interior of this sordid title.

The main character is a monkey. The monkey is called Samba, drop the "a" off Samba and change it to "o" the second letter in monkey, and we get an entirely different spin on this so called party fun game.

The game is published by SEGA, the last two letters of SEGA are the seventh and first letters of the alphabet, take one from seven, and you get six. Samba De Amigo is twelve characters, which of course halved is also six. I don't have to tell the Jury the connotations of these three sixes.

The maracas are obviously a literal meaning for monkey, as we have already established that monkey cannot be taken at face value. Putting this in perspective, the game is obviously a black baby murder simulator, as players are encouraged to take the roll of the Sambo and kill his newly born black children by shaking them violently, whilst listening to devil music of Ricky Martin. The more black babies the player murders, the higher the score and visual stimulation for the player, until the player finally loses track of reality and seeks to continue his blood rage in real life.

If the player's attention span is so low that he desires more stimulation, there are mini games in the title, where the player can hone his assassination skills by dancing with the maracas in different ways. The whole game is a sordid attempt to reprogram the minds of our youth by engaging them in an entertaining activity. It makes me sick to think that we didn't stop this years ago in the Dreamcast era, and we must act now.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, when you are reaching your decision today, think of the children, especially the black ones with soft heads and sandy brains like maracas. We need to stop the horrible spread of videogame violence from these "fun" party games. Dancing and laughing with friends whilst enjoying new technology has no place in our society, and we must all band together to fight this horrible evil. Escapism and fun always leads to re-enactment of such activities in real life, especially in people over the age of thirty who are all basically murderers, rapists and paedophiles.

If you won't do it for yourself, do it for the children, thankyou.

Pros

Incredible sense of fun makes the game difficult not to enjoy, the devils music is well suited to the game play, enough variation to avoid repetition

Cons

Controls aren't always as responsive as you would hope, not that enjoyable to play when not part of an angry mob.