skate 2

Review from Cav and Cav - Monday, 23 February 2009 @ 2:06am

I asked a group of friends what skate 2 was like, about a week before it arrive at my doorstep. The response was quite funny: “It’s like screwing your missus after she’s had plastic surgery. Looks different, but still feels kinda the same.” So, do I agree? Whole heartedly. Would I say I am disappointed? Yes, yes I am. Why? Actually, I am not sure. Maybe you, my faithful readers, can analyse my review and tell me why skate 2 leaves me with an empty unfulfilled feeling every time I play it.

skatin' the porno mo

The story goes that you have been in jail for quite some time for a crime that remains unnamed. The first thing you do when you get out of the hole is hook up again with your friend Reda. Who? The annoying, fat, Adam Sandler looking mother fucker, whose constant voiceovers annoyed the piss out of us the first time around. He takes us to a skate park to visit Slappy, a store owner from the first instalment, and gives us a chance to regain our ‘skate-legs’. From there on in it’s just like the original: skate around, find spots, beat challenges, gain sponsorship, so on and so forth. San Vanelona has changed since ‘you were away’. It is still a massive environment and there is quite a bit more to it now. Storyline wise, I cannot confirm if this is the new San Van, post rebuild after the destruction that was displayed in the Nintendo Wii version skate it. Lots of areas have been ‘capped’, which means little blocks and bars have been placed on areas where you would normally grind, breaking up the area available to skate. These can be removed via the use of ‘Services’, a new feature on your mobile phone. For a fee, these can be removed. Other services also available are Pool Cleaning …. No not the “I av come to cleen zee pool’ type ‘service’, but the actual draining of a body of water so that the area can be used skate in. The last available service is that of a large Afro-American gentleman called Big Black and just like the others, for a fee he will run around shoving security guards out of the way while you skate around, trying to complete challenges. I would love to see the guy physically run around in real life… I don’t think he could go flat out for five minutes without stopping …. maybe for a donut and a Diet Coke …. has to be ‘diet’.

The biggest (and probably the best) things to come out of skate 2 is that you can now get off your board, walk around on foot and manipulate your environment. Being able to walk up stairs can get you to places from where you can perform some pretty impressive drop ins. Walking also presents the ability to unstick yourself, because, as thousands of gamer will vouch for, there is nothing worse that being in a stuck in a spot in a skateboarding game and trying to Ollie your sorry arse out of there. Start again and lose my progress? I think not! This combined with the ability to move various objects in the environment allows you to set yourself for some easily playable spots. It is kinda weird that the city council has gone to the trouble of capping areas, but have left you open access to well over 100 rails, benches, tables and the like, scattered all over the city for you to use. How generous. How stupid.

Crap! Look at the time, I'm late for dinner!

Everyone I have spoken to about skate and skate it have said that the Hall of Meat is so much fun. This time round you have a more control over how your skater bails and what you can do while in mid air. Cannonball, spread eagle and heads first are all style options for you to maim your character with. I loved it in both the original and Wii version, but although this version has more precise breakage views, I found that even a fifty foot drop; head first onto the asphalt didn’t always end up with a Hall of Meat screen, describing my multiple fractures. Any chance I can get the developers and push them off a cliff one by one and see who does and doesn’t come up with injuries? Way to take a good thing and dull it down.

While writing this up, I decided to have a look at my review of the original skate to see if I mentioned the introduction video clip for the game. Both the original and this version have really funny intro vids. It looks like the stars of the game (make sure you check out Jason Dill, he looks so much like our very own AJ it’s kinda scary) had a blast making it. It‘s quite funny and well worth a look. You’ll find it here

Ever wanted to skate the COD WaW environment?

EA and their online content have always been a problem and this time around is no exception. YOUR WEBSITE IS SHIT AND VERY USER UNFRIENDLY. There, got that off my chest… no, hang on, haven’t finished my rant yet. I think I have stated that in my original skate review. AJ mentioned it in his Tiger 08 review. I mentioned it in my Tiger 09 review. You’d think you guys would get your shit in one sock by now. Is there any reason that your ‘sub-site’ www.easportsworld.com has record of me playing Tiger 09 on the 360, but won’t connect me while playing skate 2? And why the hell does the game tell me to check my connection to Xbox live at the same time that I am invited to play a game of Call of Duty 4? Yeah the problem is with my live connection, no worries….. Maybe I should be playing Call of Duty 4 instead of scratching a hole in my scalp while trying to work out where “Personas” is one your website, not that I should have to, cos you bastards know I have been playing Tiger. So it is with that information that I regret to inform you that I cannot supply you with photos or clips of my created player, nor can I tell you about online play.

Looks pretty filthy for a NEW town

Pros

Get off and walk - Soundtrack - Intro Video - Bailing with style - Setting up raila and benches

Cons

Teleport (what is this Star Trek?) - EA Website - Kinda the same - Reda gets repetative