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update :: sony and keeley


latest comic :: 1 April 2007 :: "Sony and Keeley"

Australian Gamer has no official policy of Sony hating. We're not fanbois/goils of any kind really. Goils is a word I don't think I'll bother saying again. It's a bit too Bugsy Malone for a video games website.

Anyway, the point is that Australian Gamer doesn't have any particular bias against Sony or towards their competition, even though it might seem like we have a collective giggle of glee at the announcement of a new Metroid game or some sort of nifty Xbox Live addition.

It probably seems like that to the many people who have loyalties of a Sonesque bent. Hell, it probably seems like that to Sony themselves. The fact is we tried to be ubiased and reasonable at all times. Thing is we also tried to actually hire reviewers. I should probably explain that seeming nonsequiter.

Weh we were looking for new people to do reviews we had pretty clear needs established. We mostly needed people who could review games on the latest system, then the Xbox 360. As a consequence we kind of hired a bunch of people with little or no need to buy a Playstation 3.

There's more to it than that, of course.

Sony have screwed up and screwed up bad lately. They've made some appalling decisions from a PR point of view. The public's faith, especially the fait oh gamers, has been on shaky ground in the last few years/months. Frankly there have been more serious sony screwups than celebrity sex tapes lately. I'm starting to get a little suspicious of the recent rush of B-grade celebs who've been "caught" in a compromising position in a remarkably well lit and filmed choreographed "leaked" tape.

Don't let my use of "quotation marks" make you think I'm in any way suspicious, or think that the whole thing is a cynical publicity stunt. Certainly not. In most cases it would appear that these women have simply had the misfortune of being filmed in probably the first role they had any genuine talent for.

Where was I? Oh yes! Keeley Hazel. Gorgeous. Talented too. Hmmm... and Sony.

So yes, things that sucked.

Anyway, sony have sucked for a substantial time. They've made a string of mistakes, some of them surprisingly nasty.

We possibly all remember that delightful issue where they felt their intellectual property rights were in need of such protection that they installed a "rootkit" on user's machines. A rootkit, apart from being a nice pet name for Lindsay Lohan, is a bit of software that installs itself on your machine in a hidden location, and allows access at anny time the installer wants it. If that sounds like a grotesque violation of users' privacy then you clearly don't understand the importance of Sony's intellectual property.

Nevertheless, a lot of other people didn't really get it either. The howls of outrage from those crazy leftwing nuts who think individuals should have "rights" were quick to come. Other companies were also quick to criticise. Microsoft were a vocal critic, rightly feeling that massive security holes that leave consumers open to malicious abuse is their domain.

In the gaming arena, there have been a lot of mistakes too. The main mistake has been one of attitude. Sony have been perceived for some time as a bazillion pound gorilla. Or kilo. I'm not an American, and I shouldn't try and measure weight like one, even though that seems to be the terminology other people are using.

Starting with the PSP things have gone downhill for Sony Computer Entertainment (Soncoent, for short). The PSP was expected to blow the competition out of the water. Or at least shoot it in the face like Dick Cheney did to some old guy he thought might be a quail.

And yet the PSP has continued to run a clumsy second to the "lesser" DS. A lot of that might have to do with hugely inadequate software, but hey, who's counting?

From the PSP through to the release of the PS3, Sony have seemed to reel from belligerent gorilla to utter cockup, and showing all the humility and grace of Naomi Campbell leaving community service they continued to antagonise both the consumer and journalists.

That would be alright if there was something to back it up. But there just wasn't. Reports on the PS3 were suggesting that something had gone horribly wrong with the RAM and it had all the speed of the tortoise, rather than the speedy rabbit. In video games, slow and steady does NOT win the race.

Yet the rhetoric from Sony seemed to get bigger as the product seemed to be getting worse. Releases came closer and the knives began to come out. Worse still, the actual launches in most territories were marred affairs. In Japan Sony were very quick to downplay reports (facts) that most consoles were actually being purchased by unemployed Chinese emigrants, used as waiting monkeys by Japanese businessmen, who themselves purchased the unit specifically to sell on Ebay.

The US didn't fare much better, with the sellthrough of games being surprisingly slow, and the massive stock shortages (1/4 of what was promised) meaning Ebay auctions were quick to start up.

Let's not forget the price, too. I doubt anyone can or has. One THOUSAND dollars is a lot of clams to pay for a games machine. Sony's ra-ra-ra of trying to tell us that it's worth it just for Blu-Ray seems more strangled than Pakistani cricket coach.

Sony's attitude has long been that you will want a PS3 because you're damn well told to. Arrogant dismissals of the competition do not count as winning the war (though "Hitler has one ball" was a turning point of World War Two).

Some of the quotes from Sony have been interesting: "We'll sell PS3s regardless of the price", "Rumble is not important to gamers", "The next generation doesn't begin until we say it does". That last one is a personal favourite of mine. The sheer cheek!

The main problem with Sony is not that they're arrogant, but that they have absolutely nothing to back that arrogance up. An underwhelming launch for an overpriced product is not the stuff of PR invincibility, and their attitudes to less than stellar publicity have been more arrogant, not less.

Anyway, Sony haven't become really any less arrogant. But they have done the next best thing. They've actually started to get things right.

I speak of three major things. Four. I'm not sure, so before this turns into a Monty Python sketch how about I just talk about them?

From least important, but a good sign of the future, is that the PSP is finally actually getting some good games. Dungeon Siege, Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops, Sonic Rivals, Barbie's Shetland Pony Adventures (they had to make it small), Tekken: Dark Resurrection, Call of Duty, and others, the PSP has a stronger lineup of just-out to just-about-out games than it ever did. Sure, the firmware still sucks more than Keely Hazel, but it's all about the games, really.

The PS3 is actually out. This might seem like a bit of an obvious point, and it is, but it's a big one too. Games I can actually play are better than games that I... can't. A lot is forgiven just by putting the thing on shelves, and both of the people who got one at midnight launches were very happy. *cough*

Home. Seriously, this is a big deal. Where Sony have always been as woefully inadequate as... well... me.. is their online service. With Live as a perfect example of what to do, Sony instead chose to ignore it and make a semi-unusable and clumsy inconsistent interface. Yay Sony! But all of a sudden what do we have? A virtual world, in exquisite 3D detail, shiny in all respects and packed with online Second Life-esque marketing opportunities. Sony seem to have really gone all out on this, and if it works as good as it looks I'll be a happy kiddy.

Little Big Planet. ZOMG!!!1! SRSLY! ZO KEWL!!111! Ok, I really like this game. I said in a podcast that Little Big Planet has jumped ahead of Spore in my "I must have it now" list, just below Keeley Hazel, and above Lindsay Lohan. Little Big Planet, even just the game, not counting the editor, is the first thing I've ever seen that I couldn't just say "yeah, but you could do that on the Xbox 360.". Because you know what? I'm not sure you could.

Simple fact is... I really want a PS3 now. I'm looking forward to buying one, now that it finally looks like it might be worth it. I'm looking forward to playing one. I just hope Sony can learn to be quiet achievers, and improve their image a bit.




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